My Last Day of Excuses (my last day of "pre-cleanse"), Day 3 of 16. (by Anita)

Mood: Apprehensive about the real cleanse. Getting nervous about not being able to do it. 

Physical: Hungry.  

- What I ate today -
Breakfast:
Glass of fresh squeezed OJ with Soy Protein Powder. 
Lunch:

Glass of fresh squeezed OJ

Snack

Glass of fresh squeezed OJ

Dinner:
Glass of fresh squeezed OJ

Homemade Vegan Tomato Soup (I Cheated) 

Alright. So today was the last day of my "gearing up" to the actual cleanse. Today I was suppose to only drink OJ and water. Last night I felt really confident that I would be able to only drink OJ today. But, I'm not really a morning person. And this morning I felt really really hungry and I realized that I couldn't look forward to my morning breakfast. On my days off I usually LOVE sleeping in and making a big breakfast of eggs over easy and toast. Eggs and toast usually coax me out of bed. However, not this morning.

I finally convinced myself to get out of bed, and told myself that I really love fresh orange juice. As I made my juiced , I started thinking about how nice it would be to eat eggs and toast with it. And that's when my mind started making excuses. 

If you've ever been on a diet you know what I'm taking about. There is always this little voice in the back of your head saying "one cookie won't spoil your diet, you can diet later". I suspect that this voice will get louder and louder as I go through this thing. At the end of the day I was telling Mike that I'm not sure if I can do all ten days of the cleanse. That I might only be able to do this cleanse for two or three days. I'm already making excuses and I haven't even started the real cleanse. 

The other thing I kept thinking about was fasting in general. Many many people fast. And there are many religions and groups that fast for many reasons for longer than ten days. So, I guess what I'm saying is that ten days of drinking a lemonade mixture won't kill me. And that ten days, in grand scheme of things, is a very short time. My main problem is combatting my natural urges. This is a similar feeling I had when I first became a vegetarian. However, that was will power I was fighting, this is completely different this is my primal desire to eat. As a western society we are taught to seek instant gratification, when I'm hungry I eat whatever I want. But now I obviously can't eat whatever I want, I can't even eat. 

Even after thinking about all of these things I'm still going through with all of this. Tonight I took my first nightly laxatives. And so it begins...